Lost and found.

I'll admit to feeling quite lost the past few weeks. To experiencing confusion and a great deal of angst at an unexpected bout of fatigue. These times come fewer and farther apart, yet it seems this particular cycle has decided to stay much longer than I anticipated.

Really the only thing one can do when taken over by these unknowns is to give in. Instead I've spent the better half of this spell angrily resisting. I wake up and think why am I so mad. Then the answer comes days later when I realize I am refusing to release, to let go and see what is here waiting for me in all this.


It seems that when I finally let go, the answers come, slowly, without force, mostly in the guise of love and gratitude for the beauty that is here and is now.


I can't know what lies ahead or how long these hard seasons intend to stay. But that knowing begins to loose it's importance when I realize that I have all I need, everything exactly as it should be for this very moment. In the words of Louise Hay- "All is well, everything is working out for my highest good and out of this experience only good will come and I am safe." I believe this, I really do.


I'm open now, I think we have to reopen ourselves continually to this life, to struggle, to thankfulness and to a relief that is just waiting to be known.

Yesterday while reading the words of Martin Prechtel I remembered that this being lost is my home if I choose to make it such.

"Mesmerized by the beauty and impervious immensity of the ever deepening forest, I discovered that my acceptance of my smallness in the face of it all made being lost into a kind of being at home. How lost could you be if you felt at home being lost?"